Friends,
Summer has officially arrived, temperatures have become slightly unbearable for this Fall loving, sweater wearing writer. Still our garden is flourishing, except for the occasional pest-induced plant deaths we’ve had while away. Our zucchini sadly perished, but besides that sad news the rest of the garden is thriving and giving produce daily.
Beyond the summer season kicking off, Joe and I sat down at coffee the other day for a mini date turned planning session. Looking ahead we’re less than 6 weeks away from our son’s surgery, and we’re already feeling the pinch. I admit my blood pressure shoots up a bit even just writing about it. The amount of mental and physical leg work we have between then and now feels immense, while the priority to make this summer relaxing and fun for the kids feels like a Mission Impossible level challenge.
I’m keeping my favorite prayers close at hand for when anxiety threatens to take over, specifically - Jesus, I trust in You!
A brief housekeeping note - we head to the beach later this week, through the weekend! So happy 4th of July, and there will not be a weekly post next Monday. Do keep an eye out for my monthly newsletter the first Sunday in July.
3 Quick Takes
Liturgical Living has become popular, but what is the reality of it? I’ve found myself struggling with this question. On IG Liturgical Living appears to be a combination of aesthetically pleasing kid crafts, meals, and prayers for nearly ever single Feast day and Solemnity you’ve ever heard of. It has been incredible to learn all the various activities, meals, and traditions associated with different Saints throughout history and the world. Yet as a convert, one who didn’t start really diving into the faith until a few years ago, it was also completely overwhelming. IG, and other platforms, can often imply that everyone should be celebrating their faith this way, and do all the things to become more holy. The reality is, every person of faith should consider adding in traditions that help them grow deeper in their faith, but it won’t look the same for every family nor should it be everything. I liken these traditions (little t) to a buffet. We come, gaze at this incredible heritage of faith left for us, and then according to our vocations, discernment, and season of life, we choose what makes sense. No guilt leaving certain traditions for another time. On a final note, I have a favorite liturgical living writer here on Substack. She captures the whimsical nature and beauty of LL in a way I just adore.
A fun thing happened this past week in the Catholic Substack world. First,
asked if there was a list of Catholic Substacks somewhere and to also list Catholic publications. Much to all our surprise there were a great number of us, from Stealth Catholics1 who are Catholic but do not write about it to Catholics who write about Catholicism specifically and nearly every genre in-between. Then, decided to take this note and turn it into an ever growing list of Catholic writers, categorized, and available for all of us to peruse. So be sure to check these out and see if your new favorite Catholic writer is out there just waiting for you!Prioritize your marriage over everything else. Yes even the kids. Some of you may know that our oldest son is having a major surgery in a few weeks. Joe and I have both noticed we’ve been a bit shorter with each other, our kids are more on edge and the mood around the house is a bit subdued. We all feel it. It’s not all in our heads either. The reality is parenting a child with special needs adds new levels of stress to a relationship, and statistics back it up with a nearly 90% divorce rate in marriages where the parents have a special needs child. Joe and I have learned when we start getting short, and the kids can feel the stress hovering in the air, that we need to take some time to recalibrate. We do this by taking a quick break in the garden, or setting aside intentional, screen-free time to discuss what’s been gnawing at us, or doing something small but special for the other person to let them know we’re in this together. This can apply to any marriage too, and can make a world of difference.
Devotional Corner
I’ve seen and heard lately from parents that they used to feel closer to God before they had children. They had morning prayer, could go to adoration, actually focus in Mass. They felt they were at a certain level of intimacy with God that since children they simply haven’t felt.
Instead, now they feel spent, dry, lonely, and distracted. Understandably too, as young children take all of our time, energy and attention. Especially if we are new parents, this whole new world of a little person whose needs never seem to cease can feel overwhelming, distressing even. HOW are we supposed to then pause the chaos, and focus on God?
I remember a particular moment when my older two were the only two and our third wasn’t even a thought for us. I was standing in the kitchen, dishes in the sink and I just felt the weight of life bearing down as I turned on the faucet. I was incredibly overwhelmed with a special needs kid and a toddler, and my prayer life was almost non-existent. I was just trying to survive, being close to God was barely a blip on the radar, or so I thought.
Ever so gently, through the peaceful moments of siblings laughing together, or a magical early bedtime, or a somewhat peaceful car ride, that peace I felt was a little whisper to my soul. A reminder that my thirst was still being quenched, just not in the ways I was used to, that I had to learn to see God moving in my family life in ways I hadn’t experienced before.
It wasn’t until years later, and an intentional reflection on those early years of parenthood, that I realized God was meeting me where I was because I simply didn’t have the ability to meet Him any other way. In realizing this, it has become easier to see Him meeting me in daily moments today. While cooking, or cleaning, when driving to soccer practice or games, or simply feeling sick on the couch. If we turn our hearts to God, in those moments, He will meet us, hear us and offer us Grace to overcome, to persevere for when the seasons of life allow us to add back in a morning prayer time, or an attention span lasting longer than 5 seconds.
In short, He equips us for our vocations and while we want the equipping to happen all at once, like magic, often it takes years and many different experiences for us to grow into who we are called to be.
What’s more, the wisdom that is imparted to us through those difficult moments is not inconsequential - learning to persevere, to cling to God in the storm of little (and big) people, to pray honestly about what’s actually on our hearts, to seek Him in the ordinary, to seek deeper waters to quench our soul’s thirst for Him and so much else.
I want to encourage parents in the trenches that just because your life doesn’t resemble a monastery doesn’t mean you aren’t doing holy work (or being worked upon), and just because your home isn’t silent doesn’t mean God doesn’t hear your prayers.
Discussion Questions:
This section is a starting off point to help you go deeper with topics discussed above.
Think of one small way you’ve seen God show up in your family life. It could be as simple as a more peaceful mealtime, or something as big as making it through a whole decade of the rosary. Reflect on these moments and ask God to help you see Him moving in more areas of your life, to help you seek Him out and to give you patience to continue to persevere.
If you can’t think of a single moment, and I’ve been there friends, ask God to open your heart, mind, and eyes. Be honest with Him too. Share all your frustrations, your longings, all of it and lay it before Him. Ask Him to move in these things and to guide you. He will.
Finally, I wrote about this topic a while ago and wanted to share it. I hope you find it encouraging and consider sharing it with a friend who needs to hear this.
Quote of the Week
“Great occasions for serving God but rarely offer themselves; small occasions perpetually occur, and Christ Himself said: ‘He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also in that which is greater.’ (Lk 16:10
If then you do all in the name of God, you will do all well, whether you eat or whether you drink, whether you sleep or repose from labor, whether you are in engaged in honorable or menial offices.” - St. Francis de Sales
Which are you most of the time?
I had a lot of fun with this poll and it seems many of you did as well! At first the Permanently Exhausted Pigeons were ahead, then the Early Birds came back strong for the lead and finally we finished with the PEPs stepping up and across the finish line. Sorry we’ve been watching a lot of races lately!
Anyway, I definitely can relate to the PEPs though I used to be a night owl once upon a time.
This week’s poll.
I love the polls, Mandy - such a cozy read :) solidarity re the heat! hang in there! And all good thoughts and prayers for your son's upcoming surgery, I can only imagine the anxiety.
Love it! Thanks for the shout out! That shift in finding God as a busy parent is the reason I share my weekly reflections/podcast — to help people (myself first and foremost) recognize those moments of grace as they occur.