Mending the Chain - Passing on our Inheritance; Of Mustard Seeds and Wildflowers; On Surrender

I had a different newsletter in mind but sometimes the Spirit moves, blowing another way, fanning the flames in my heart and they burn with words that must be shared.

Praying at bedtime has long been a spiritual habit of mine, well before I became Catholic or felt I had a deep, loving and true relationship with Christ. Call it a habit of persistence, praying at night has stuck with me during my driest and darkest times. Through the countless hours of prayer over the years words of restoration, healing and truth have been gently whispered, lulling my aching heart into peace and at times resounding with warmth, strength and urgency.

Last night was the latter. “Inheritance. Mending. Legacy.” I immediately recalled a Facebook meme of all things, you may know the one, where there is an image of matches lined up in a row. The matches on the left are burned up, one is pulled down and the ones on the right are left unscathed. What had come before could not reach what came after because someone had stepped away.

This meme is referring to toxic traits, words and wounding actions but something else stirred in my mind when this image appeared - us choosing to step away and not pass on the Flame of the Spirit to those who come after us.

We are the link to the next generation, part of a chain from those before us to those who come after us. Family and friends that came before us may have passed on the gospel, the love of Christ and the Spirit or not, but God has no grandchildren. So each of us can choose, at any moment to step back into the fire of the Spirit, to dive headlong towards Christ, to mend the chain of our Inheritance, to pass on the Flame of Truth to those who come after us that we may all burn brightly, if only for a moment in time, with the Love of Life and Goodness so that others may find their way.

Whether, as a child, you were steeped in the traditions of faith or not, whether you read scripture in your home or not, prayed or not, went to church or not - today, this very moment, you can choose to step back into the fray of faith and ask Christ to step, shoulder to shoulder, with you into building up the kingdom - in your home, your church and your circle of influence.

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear or be in dread of them: for it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deut. 31:6

It’s an intimidating task, passing on such an inheritance, especially if you feel ill equipped or have never seen it modeled, yet we are told over and over again in the Old Testament and New “Be not afraid.” We are told that God is with us. Emmanuel.

And we are, right this moment, raising the next generation of the church. In this holy vocation we cannot afford to be lukewarm in our hearts and actions. We are raising the next generation in a post-Christian world, one that daily rejects Christ and His church - so we must, with enthusiasm, pass on what has been given to us. And not just with words, but with love in action.

If ever there was a time to step back into the breach, light the flames of our hearts and pass on Truth, now is that time. It is time to be bold. It is time to be proudly Catholic, proudly Christian. It is time to shake off the dust from our shoes and keep proclaiming the Truth.

I know it’s scary and uncomfortable to be “that” family or person who lives their faith out loud, for all to see. I’m sure you’ve heard the insult people whisper “More Catholic than the pope” behind our backs, feeling threatened by how we live out our vocations - preferring we kept it quiet and private like them.

I’m so over that.

If we will not be a light on the hill then who? If we will not proclaim the Truth in our own homes, our own communities, then who? If we will not take seriously our vocation of raising the next generation, of passing on this inheritance of God’s Love and Truth, then who?

How we pass on our Inheritance in our Home:

1. Through prayer - discipling your children on how to pray is perhaps one of the most important things you can do in your home. It doesn’t need to be perfect, or said just so, or done in a quiet moment (we almost never have those!). If you are unsure how to pray, ask the Holy Spirit to show you. Start with familiar prayers and branch out as you feel more comfortable. You can’t go wrong here and God will not waste this time you spend with Him.

2. Through Liturgical Living - I know there are a TON of voices around this. I invite you to pick one or two trusted voices, that are consistent, encouraging and give excellent, easy to access tips for you and your family. Don’t peek over your digital shoulder or fence to see what friends or other Catholics you know are doing - this invites all kinds of inadequate feelings. Keep your eyes on your house and pick one or two practices you want to incorporate into your family life. Is there a saint that means a lot to your family? Celebrate their feast day. Is there a particular prayer or blessing that you love? Say it together as a family. Whatever you choose, be consistent. (These are who I follow the most to keep me balanced and informed: Catholic All Year, Catholic Family Crate & Steffani Aquila )

3. Model. Model. Model. - You must model for you children, spouse, friends, neighbors. Words only go so far - and I’m saying this as a writer. Actions have always spoken louder than words, our Lord Jesus knew this, and in faith it is no different. People don’t want to be preached to, they want to see that you are living what you claim. You claim Joy, Hope, Peace, Love? Let me see it. So we must as Catholic Christians, daily model that which we claim. No one said it would be easy and we will often fail but if we ask God to make up the difference, to fill in where we lack - Grace will abound.

4. Ask for Holy Families and Friendships in your life - You can never underestimate the power of asking God for something holy in your life. So ask for holy families and friends. If you don’t know many ask for an increase. If you know a few, pray that you may grow closer and encourage one another more. Holy Families and friends gathering together is one of the best ways to not only pass on this inheritance that is our faith but to build up a community that will support you as your children grow, seeking other influential voices besides your own - give them the opportunity to find holy voices.

Of Mustard Seeds and Wildflowers

I started writing on Instagram in November of 2020, and as I was finally choosing obedience to this call that God had placed so resolutely on my heart, the name Mustard Seeds and Wildflowers popped in my head. It was like a lightbulb going on. Not it my 2.5 years of writing have I ever shared why I chose this name, what it means to me and what it represents about my mission as a writer.

So here, in this space seemed like the perfect opportunity to share exactly what Mustard Seeds and Wildflowers means to me and why I use this name for my account.

“Another parable he put before them saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed which a man took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches’” Mt. 13:31-32

“Consider the lilies, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon is all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass which is alive in the field today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O men of little faith!” Lk 12:27-28 (Some translations use wildflowers which is where I get the name)

The smallest of seeds, the fragile plants of the field - I knew this was me. I’m not a person of great faith, I struggle with trust, I fail as often as I succeed. I hear God call and like Jonah I sometimes run, though thankfully there is no big fish to swallow me up. My disobedience is something I wrestle with and am aware of, by God’s Grace, and through that same Grace I daily stand up, dust off and try again. I’m anxious, and fragile, my ego easily inflates and deflates on the coming and going tides of life, I find it hard to trust God yet He constantly gives me reasons to trust Him.

In short, my faith journey is not neat, pretty or exemplary - it is very much a pilgrimage.

This is where Mustard Seeds and Wildflowers comes into focus for me. Here I share with you my stumblings, where its ok to admit we’re not only not perfect, but broken.

Where I say to a world hyper-focused on material success, perfection, and the projection thereof, that the imperfection of faith is not only ok but expected, normal and sometimes even necessary so that we may grow in that same faith and trust. Where I choose to step into certainty, like the roots of a mighty Mustard Tree digging deep for a drink of water, and trust that God is providing living water for us to drink daily too.

That He redeems what we have lost and restores what we lack.

And like the lilies of the field, He clothes us and cares for us more so than we could possibly imagine.

So like a mighty mustard tree spreading her branches wide for all birds of the air to nest in her branches, my hope in writing has been to create a space for all who feel unworthy or less than in their faith journeys to find respite and refreshment in the Lord. To see that not one person has to be perfect to choose the Lord daily, in even the smallest ways and despite what social media shouts shares, we will imperfectly follow Him all our days - but we do have to choose Him.

That like the lilies of the field, through sharing reflections and words, many may see a loving God who cares so deeply and thoroughly for them in an unfeeling and unseeing world. Seeing that He is not distant or inaccessible but waiting, wooing, whispering and always drawing close to us.

On Surrender

Remember that I just mentioned how disobedient I can be to God? Yeah, I remember that too, yet I’m going to share about Surrendering to the Lord.

Wild right?

There have been many moments where whisperings of what to write have floated into my mind and heart and I just chuckle. “Really Lord? Me? You know me…I don’t do that well. At. All.” Yet, through prayer, the daily sanctification of experiencing life, and the consistent practice of inviting the Lord into my days, He has gently guided me here to this moment - this word.

Surrender.

I first heard it when I decided 2023 was the year I’d pick a word that would be a kind of mantra, a thread that would weave throughout all my days, tying them together in a singular way, with focus and intention. You may even do this, picking a word of the year such as “Courage” or “Teach”. Jen Fulwiler even has a website dedicated to this, so if you’re inspired after reading this, check it out and pray about it!

I went to prayer asking God if He would give me a word, one that would not only draw me closer to Him but would highlight how I can grow. I knew we had a move coming up, and we were still reeling from the sudden loss of my brother-in-law this past August. I could feel in my bones that if there was a word I should put a focus on this year, the Spirit would tell me.

Surrender.

It’s such an incredibly scary word. To let go of all control, to take whatever comes to you, to not only take it in but to try to do so with Joy and obedience. I heard that word and my heart said “run” but my mind paused. Maybe it’s all that gentle training over the months and years that finally allowed me to pause first.

In prayer, I leaned into this word, taking in all it could mean, what it would look like, and asking what was really being asked of me. I was met with silence.

So as the business of life took over from that moment in prayer and we prepared for a move, packing, cleaning, setting out to drive and then arriving at an air bnb until we closed on our new home I let that word fade to the background. I assumed that I was being asked to surrender this move to the Lord, and all the stress that comes with a move.

Well I can’t tell you how wrong I was to assume.

Don’t get upset with your imperfections. It’s a great mistake because it leads nowhere - to get angry because you are angry, upset at being upset, depressed at being depressed, disappointed because you are disappointed. So don’t fool yourself. Simply surrender to the power of God’s Love, which is always greater than our weakness. - St. Francis de Sales

These past few weeks have been an entire act of surrender - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. It’s been exceptionally uncomfortable, and almost every single day I am offering up my frustration, confusion, exhaustion, desires, and plans in new, unexpected ways.

I woke up Easter morning with both my eyes nearly swollen shut. Two Benadryl and an ice pack later I was feeling well enough and we went to a later mass.

Since that morning I have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and still waiting for answers about my eyes swelling - none have come about yet.

Then the other day, I recalled this word, a word I had asked God for, and in His wisdom He laid it before me in preparation. I sat in prayer once again, bringing before the Lord this word, this action, this state of being - this Surrender.

My mind was brought immediately to our Lord Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. His body, His words, His very self stepping into an act of total surrender to the Father. The trust, the faith, the will and the obedience of that moment just overwhelmed me.

It still does.

Just for a moment close your eyes, and imagine Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane.

See yourself nearby but not close enough to hear His words. What is His posture? What is His body doing? “And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed…” Mt. 26:39

As you get closer, you hear His words “My Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Mt. 26:39

Jesus, fully God, fully human, modeling for us what surrender to the Father looks like. I convince myself I do this kind of surrender everyday but I don’t - not like this, not really. In a thousand little ways I don’t.

So what does it look like to fully surrender? I would say it isn’t a once size fits all but a process as unique as each of us.

3 ways I’ve been Surrendering more to the Lord:

1. Obedience - For me, being human, it’s about obedience to the Lord. A daily dying to myself and asking God for His will instead of mine. In intentionally choosing His wants, His desires - Him. I will always fall short of the perfection Christ displayed and lived, but that’s ok because Grace is real, Mercy is real. The desires of our hearts count for more than just feelings and when ordered to our Lord, to His will, they bring about a sanctification that is both real and life changing. “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mt. 26:41

2. Prayer - In the small moments when I wake up, or pour a cup of warm coffee, when I feel the cool breeze on a sunny day (it’s finally sunnier here), or sit to write in this space - I pray. I’ve been asking the Lord to show up in small ways, moment by moment and show me how to make it through these days of uncertainty about my health. He has not disappointed and I don’t think He would hesitate to walk with you as well. It is not pretty, I stumble often, my health hasn’t miraculously improved, but there is no anxiety, there is no despair, just gentle urgings to continue to let go, to trust, to rest, to be.

3. Letting go - This Easter has become a season of letting go, being still and letting God move instead. Since Easter Sunday until now I’ve been on a crash course of what it looks like to slow down to a near stop, of doing a precious few things each day, of having to choose what is the most important then letting the Lord care for the rest. It’s been exceptionally humbling for someone who is a “do-er” and pushes me to trust in ways I wasn’t sure I was ready to trust. Maybe you’ve struggled with “letting go and letting God” Friends I’ve been there and on this side of things, the trust fall side, the trusting is better. Not only better but sweeter, more consoling, and fulfilling in unexpected and soul quenching ways I never even knew were possible.

So that is where things stand as of today - I am in unknown territory with the Lord whispering “trust me and rest” and it’s been the most challenging, uncomfortable and immensely beautiful experience.

Friends, I encourage you to sit with this very uncomfortable word, to ask the Holy Spirit to show you what you are holding onto so tightly, what you are guarding so carefully, what you are keeping hidden, supposedly safe. Ask the Lord what He is asking of you to let go and…

Surrender

Books on my Nightstand:

Honestly this past month has been a lot of me reading up on autoimmune diseases, and how to go dairy and gluten free so I haven’t made too much progress in this department. I did finally reach the end of An Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis De Sales, you can read my brief review here if you’re curious. I have also picked up The Temperament God Gave You by Art and Laraine Bennett. So far it’s been a good read and I’m looking forward to sharing more with you next month!

Little Mustard Seeds

Each newsletter I like to share a few favorite things that have blessed me as a mom, homemaker, and woman. The links in this newsletter are unaffiliated unless I say it’s an affiliate link.

• Cast Iron Scrubber - we LOVE cast iron in this house. There is just something about the way the food tastes crisper and more flavorful that keeps us coming back to it. However the clean up is tedious. Enter this scrubber and with a little hot water, boom, our skillet and dutch oven are cleaned in a minute or two tops. It is my new favorite kitchen gadget and I don’t say that often!

• Hallow App - I’m sure they don’t need more advertisement but my family truly loves this app. We listen to the Family Mass Prep every Sunday where we and the kids giggle the whole time, I’ve been enjoying the Acts of the Apostles Bible Study with Dr. Scott Hahn, you can also find the daily rosary, scriptural rosaries, and rosary reflections by Bishop Barron, as well as the very popular Bible in a Year and Catechism in a Year with Fr. Mike. It’s been such a beneficial tool and a good portion of it is free, but we choose to get the family plan since my husband and I both use it daily.

• Sitting in the Sun - No link here just a simple experience that has been boosting my mood and health these past several weeks. I’ve been taking time for about 5-10 minutes, in the morning to sit outside, feel the breeze on my skin, and just soak in the sun. Sometimes I choose to pray, sometimes I sit in silence. It’s a completely underrated experience that I can’t recommend enough. Need a boost to your day? Get some sun!