Advent - A Forgotten Season; On Surrender

December 2023 - First Sunday of Advent

Friends over the years Advent has become one of my favorite seasons in the Liturgical calendar, full of anticipation, beauty, and stillness. It beckons us to pause, breathe in deeply, and boldly seek the heart of the one called Emmanuel - God with Us. How blessed are we to have a God not just above us and before us but with us in all the muddy moments, the challenging moments, the beautifully simple moments?

For this season of Advent, each Sunday I will be sending out a short reflection on the scripture from Mass or a reflection on a simple Advent practice our family is doing at home to recognize the season, plus a short prayer to get our week started. I hope you will join me and invite a friend along!

Image by: Amanda Jane Art Shop

Whose woods these are I think I know.   
His house is in the village though;   
He will not see me stopping here   
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer   
To stop without a farmhouse near   
Between the woods and frozen lake   
The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   
To ask if there is some mistake.   
The only other sound’s the sweep   
Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   
But I have promises to keep,   
And miles to go before I sleep,   
And miles to go before I sleep.

- Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Advent, “ad-venire” in Latin or “to come to”, is a whole season of anticipation, full of quiet beauty, full of reflection, full of prayer, full of preparation¹. It is a whole season of savoring the small moments that build up to the grand feast and it has been largely forgotten or ignored in favor of the sugar rush of the Christmas season.

My first experience with Advent was when I was a newly married 20 something in Washington D.C. My husband and I had the unique privilege of living within the theological school he attended. He went to classes and managed housing on the side while I went downtown to work. The whole city was emblazoned with twinkling lights and the National Christmas Tree was up but when I entered the school, the peaceful lighting of 4 candles met me and that was it. A stark contrast that spoke to the anticipation of the season, not yet celebrating but waiting for something grander, bigger, and more beautiful.

As the years went by and I did decide to join the Catholic Church, I stumbled a bit in this seemingly awkward season. What do I do with all the holiday cheer? Am I a “bad” Catholic for listening to Christmas music? Where should my focus be? How does one celebrate Advent and still be jolly?

I was also battling with post partum depression and our oldest being diagnosed with a life long disability. So admittedly diving deeper into the nuances of Advent were not on the top of my list for many more years.

Still as I’ve come into my own in this faith, the only way faith really can be lived, it finally struck me one day at the Mass the incredible beauty behind Advent. It’s not there to delay, or shame Catholics (or anyone else) who want to join in on the festive feel of the moment.

Advent exists to create space, intention, and rich spiritual meaning.

It is the opportunity to press pause while the world tries to rush headlong towards mistletoe, gifts under the tree, and candy canes. It is the opportunity to reflect on our spiritual health, it is the Liturgical New Year after all. It’s the opportunity to savor, dig deep, refocus our priorities - to prepare.

Preparation is, in and of itself, an experience. If you’ve ever prepared for a big celebration, a feast, you know there is more to it than just arriving at the day. The food must be planned, purchased, and made. Decorations must be carefully decided upon and laid out. Then there is the time it takes - a day or a week? Somewhere in between. The memories made by those hosting, excited about this detail or that dish, who will love it and the feeling it will bring to the occasion. It can be exquisite if not a bit exhausting.

Advent is the space to exquisitely prepare our hearts and souls for the biggest celebration in all of history - Christmas - when God Himself humbly entered time, entered creation and became flesh. It is also a time to reflect on Christ’s second coming, to be watchful and ready. “But take heed to yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a snare;” Lk 21:34

We live in a modern world with all the trappings that entails and it can be so tempting to give into the celebration of Christmas, potentially losing sight of its meaning as many have, but I like to remind my children that we don’t celebrate a feast before the King has arrived, we celebrate once He has arrived.

We prepare for His arrival.

The balance to be struck between Advent and Christmas is challenging no doubt, but as with so many situations in life our intentions are what matter most. Do we put up the Christmas tree or wait? Well maybe put up the tree, white lights shining, but decorate it later. How about a Christmas movie or music? Sure, but stick to ones with religious themes, that acknowledge Jesus, not solely based on modern Santa Claus and elves.

The beauty of Advent is that it isn’t about bigger, louder, and brighter but calmer, slower, and with intention. A nightly prayer of 5 minutes as a family acknowledging the anticipatory nature of Advent, holding off on decorating the tree, keeping an Advent calendar to count down the days to Jesus’ birth, setting up a nativity scene without baby Jesus yet present. Little ways to mark the season as not yet arrived but still arriving.

By Christmas day we find we are not tired of the glitter, the music - the feast. Our feasting has only just begun!

4 Ways our Family Celebrates Advent:

1. Advent Music - A year ago I decided I got tired of hearing Christmas music about bells jingling and Santa Claus for weeks on end. I needed something that pulled my heart and mind towards Christ and anticipating His birth while still feeling festive and set apart from Ordinary time. So I created a music playlist. It is my favorite thing! Then about a week before Christmas I finally turn on all the classic Christmas music from Jingle Bells to I’ll be Home for Christmas. This isn’t a hard and fast rule, but a preference. So take what works for you and leave the rest.

2. Pregnant Mary - A new to us tradition this year is adding the pregnant Mary statue to our Advent wreath. It serves as a reminder of the waiting, and hoping that she must have experienced during her pregnancy, trusting God’s plan, and leading up to Christ’s birth. An anticipation any mother can relate to, and the excitement of the coming birth. She serves as a beautiful example of what trusting God should be like, and gives us a chance to talk about how to emulate that in our family today.

3. Tree and Lights - We’re not scrooges around here and certainly see Advent as joyful preparation, yet preparation all the same. One way we do this is by setting up some things, such as our tree with lights, no ornaments just yet, and outside lights and decorations. It also allows us to restfully prepare for Christmas, weekly adding in items, without already being tired of Christmas decor, as we plan to keep it up for the Octave of Christmas and up until January 8th, the Baptism of our Lord Jesus Christ.

4. Jesse Tree - For the past couple years our family has put up our Christmas tree, sans ornaments, so that it might first be our Jesse Tree. Each day, starting December 1st we read through God’s story of salvation woven throughout thousands of years and shared in Scripture, highlighting. Dec. 1st starts with the stump of Jesse, “There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch shall grow out of his roots” Isaiah 11:1. We use this set.

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On Surrender

sur·​ren·​der (sə-ˈren-dər ) - to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner²

At the end of the year, when the crisp winter air blows and our bodies bristle anticipating the chill, we slow down just enough to breath. Between the twinkling lights of the holidays and the frenzy of travel, guests, food, and gifts - we pause, if only for a moment. In that moment, maybe you take note of what has happened this past year and what you hope will happen in the coming one. Maybe you reflect, pray and take stock of God’s blessings. One practice that many seem to take part in is choosing a word for the year, a word that helps to put the upcoming year in focus, and with it our intentions.

I decided to finally try this and spent all of December 2022 praying about what word the Lord wanted me to focus on for 2023. A few short days before the New Year I finally got a reply - not one I was particularly thrilled to receive.

Surrender.

It is about as scary as you can imagine. Surrender what? I never got an answer, but as this December rolls in I am pausing to take stock of what this year has held, what has been surrendered, what has been pruned, what has been nurtured, what has the Lord done with this word in my life.

Surrender.

When I heard that word in my heart, my stomach leapt. What would this look like? Would I be graceful or fail miserably in answering this call? Would I be able to set myself aside enough to allow God’s grace take over and help me surrender more fully? Would I be brave enough to say yes every single time? I knew none of these answers.

Then we moved states in January, said goodbye to a loving community, sold a house, bought a house, moved in, unpacked and tried to keep life as normal as possible for our three kids - homeschool and soccer our top priorities. On Easter Sunday, 3 1/2 months after we had moved, I woke up with my eyes swollen, unbearably itchy and no answers as to why. Two Benadryl and one Mass later I was back home, miserable, and unsure what was happening but certain something was not right.

As the weeks ticked by I finally found a PCP who decided to dive deeper and I received some answers I hadn’t expected. Diet changes and lifestyle changes piled on top of a move and all that entails - I couldn’t even begin to continue to function well. I had to learn to surrender - it was no longer a choice.

Surrender my health
Surrender my energy
Surrender being the “do-er”
Surrender playing with my children without being depleted
Surrender of what I wanted for what was possible - each day
Surrender of all that I thought I knew about myself for something more

And friends let me tell you, we think of surrender in terms of loss. In a way it is, but when the Lord asks you to surrender your will to His, when He asks you to turn to Him in full, to leave the world behind, to sink into His merciful heart and be at rest - it is no real loss.

In the surrender there is a beauty wholly unto itself. Like a golden hue of light that passes through a window on a sunny day, it shines softly, powerfully, fully into dark places. It gently coaxes the soul to rest, to give, to expand, to love - even in the surrender.

Despite the painful moments, the beauty of it all still overwhelms me. The beauty of resting not by choice but necessity and your children choosing to serve you as you’ve served them. The beauty in your husband sacrificing even more to help, to support, to lift up. The beauty in small moments filled with love - a movie night, reading books, board games, take-out meals yet again.

My experience is by no means extreme, but even in these small experiences God moved, He pruned, He healed, He softened and strengthened, He went to work each time I surrendered a little more, and allowed Him to be the “all I need” in each circumstance.

And that’s really what He is calling each of us to do every day, isn’t it? To surrender our mind, body and soul to Him. To answer, as best we are able, His sweet calls to surrender and melt into His love. To be at peace in His sovereignty and His will. To trust - to rest our weary souls.

The world is so heavy friends. It is so heavy with murder, hate, violence, fear. We can’t possibly carry it all. Our daily lives are so heavy too. Bills, work, stress, community (or lack of), health, school, family - life. It can be incredibly heavy.

What if, in all the striving to balance, we answered that call to surrender even just a little bit to the Lord of the Universe? To answer His call to surrender ourselves, our worries, our fears, our inability, our weakness, our doubt.

What could He do in your life? In mine?

How I’ve learned to Surrender:

It’s important to note that I am not an expert on you, only myself, and what works for me may not work for you. That said the two ways I’ve learned to surrender are through prayer and fasting. Surrender isn’t a measurement of how many times you succeed or fail, it is a process. A process of allowing the Lord to change your heart, your mind, your soul.

1. Through prayer I learn the heart of the Father, His love, His mercy, His grace. I’ve prayed in many ways over this year, in Mass, in scripture, with the rosary, even in the shower, or driving kids to activities. Prayer is not limited nor is the Lord. By choosing to spend time with Him in prayer I am already practicing surrender by surrendering something so precious to Him - time.

2. Fasting, I’ve found, is the next step. It’s harder and I certainly struggle with this so don’t be discouraged. Fasting from social media, sweets, video games, whatever it is that you see taking over in your life (a prayer to the Holy Spirit to help you discover what that is would be great!). Fasting helps us practice detachment, it allows us to surrender our body, our worldly attachments, to the glory of the Lord. It brings us into discomfort sometimes even, which gives us a clearer view of ourselves and the mercy of God acting in our lives.

This is the first week of Advent and the Advent season is shorter this year with the 4th Sunday and the Vigil of the Nativity occurring on the same day. It will be easy to feel rushed in this season of preparation but one way to take the pressure off is meal planning! Below is a sample meal list of our family dinners for Advent. I hope they bless you!

Sunday: Chicken (or Turkey) pot pie - I like to make these ahead of time and freeze them (thank you Mom for the idea!) It’s so easy to pull out however many you need and pop in the oven until bubbling and warm! You can use your favorite Chicken Pot Pie recipe or mine!

Monday: Leftovers, feed sourdough starter and prep dough for overnight rise

Tuesday: Chicken and rice soup, sourdough bread - Use either a rotisserie chicken or chicken breast from the freezer, thawed and chopped. Chop onions and garlic, add to large pot with olive oil and some salt. Cook until translucent. Add chopped celery, carrots and tomatoes, cook until soft. Add Chicken to the veggies in the pot let cook for tops 5 minutes. Add chicken broth, I use two homemade 32oz containers. Add in 2 cups of brown rice about 45 minutes before you want to serve the soup.

Wednesday (St. Nicholas’ Day) : Leftovers. Time to have some fun making Speculaas - St. Nicholas Cookies.

Thursday (Feast of St. Ambrose) : Italian Chicken (using Italian dressing to marinate), roasted potatoes and a side salad. St. Ambrose is a doctor of the church and there is no easier way to celebrate this day than with a simple meal to recall the country within which he was a bishop.

Friday (Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception) : It may be Advent but we are still abstaining from meat on Fridays except for feast days! To celebrate we are going to have a top round roast with roasted potatoes and carrots, plus a side salad.

Saturday: Leftovers again because I am all about finding rest during Advent and not having to cook a few nights a week makes all the difference!

Little Mustard Seeds

Each newsletter I like to share a few favorite things that have blessed me as a mom, homemaker, and woman. The links in this newsletter are unaffiliated unless I say it’s an affiliate link.

1. Dining with the Saints: In the effort of adding more Liturgical Living to our family life I decided to get this book, a mixture of church history with recipes. It’s been a delight and already I’ve turned to it more than a few times to find ways to add meaning to our meals.

2. Veiling - Recently I went to the Mass without my veil. Through a series of events my veil ended up in my van but I was not with my van at church so I went in without it. The Catholic Church no longer requires veiling but through the years I stumbled upon this practice and finally found the courage to give it a try. This particular Sunday without my veil, after nearly 2 years veiling, felt strange. I had a harder time focusing, and felt less reverent to the Eucharist. I know God understands, but I find the veil an invaluable tool in reminding myself and those around me of the importance and majesty of Jesus Christ truly present in the Eucharist.

3. St. Nicholas Day - When you receive this newsletter St. Nicholas’s day has yet to happen but I want to gush for a moment about this day and how celebrating it has changed my mothering and faith. On my journey to the Catholic faith, I started getting glimpses of something more solid and formational than what typical modern American Christmas had to offer. By the time our oldest children were in grade school we had made the switch. Instead of a commercialized Santa Clause we would recognize his very real counter-part St. Nicholas bishop of Myra, and read about his faith, including how he punched a heretic in the face at the Council of Nicaea (325). Choosing to recognize real saints associated with this time of year has grounded our family’s faith, helping us reach back through the ages and find our place in God’s story. Suddenly the Christmas season doesn’t seem so abstract but real, powerful and applicable to us today. We recognize this day with stories about St. Nicholas, special St. Nick desserts, and the kids also put shoes out the night before to be filled with gold coins, oranges and a small gift. Be sure to the click the link to learn more about this special day!

Prayer Habit

“Prayer is the oxygen of the soul” - Padre Pio

I wanted to add this section because I keep bringing prayer up in ever article I’ve written to date. It is important, necessary, and life giving to pray often. If you’re up for the challenge I’d like to encourage you to pray a specific kind of prayer in each newsletter. I hope the fruits borne of this habit bless you!

The Litany of Trust

as shared on Hallow

1. Make the Sign of the Cross.

   In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 

2. Ask Jesus to deliver you from the various fears and insecurities that hold us back from fully trusting Him. After each petition, respond with “Deliver me, Jesus.”

   From the belief that I have to earn Your love
   From the fear that I am unlovable 
   From the false security that I have what it takes
   From the fear that trusting You will leave me more destitute
   From all suspicion of Your words and promises
   From the rebellion against childlike dependency on You
   From refusals and reluctances in accepting Your will
   From anxiety about the future
   From resentment or excessive preoccupation with the past
   From restless self-seeking in the present moment 
   From disbelief in Your love and presence
   From the fear of being asked to give more than I have 
   From the belief that my life has no meaning or worth 
   From the fear of what love demands
   From discouragement

3. Place your trust in Jesus, knowing that He will always wrap you in His arms. After each petition, respond with “Jesus, I trust in You.”

   That You are continually holding me, sustaining me, loving me
   That Your love goes deeper than my sins and failings and transforms me 
   That not knowing what tomorrow brings is an invitation to lean on You
   That You are with me in my suffering 
   That my suffering, united to Your own, will bear fruit in this life and the next
   That You will not leave me orphan, that You are present in Your Church 
   That Your plan is better than anything else
   That You always hear me and in Your goodness always respond to me
   That You give me the grace to accept forgiveness and to forgive others  
   That You give me all the strength I need for what is asked 
   That my life is a gift
   That You will teach me to trust You

4. Conclude with the Sign of the Cross. 

   In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

1. USCCB: Beginning the Church's liturgical year, Advent (from, "ad-venire" in Latin or "to come to") is the season encompassing the four Sundays (and weekdays) leading up to the celebration of Christmas.

The Advent season is a time of preparation that directs our hearts and minds to Christ’s second coming at the end of time and to the anniversary of Our Lord’s birth on Christmas.

2. Merriam-webster Dictionary: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/surrender