Two Truths I'm Living Right Now

3 Ways to De-influence your life + Homeschooling wisdom after 5 years in

Hi, I’m Mandy - Catholic wife, homeschool mom, writer, and speaker.

Here, we seek God in the ordinary: the scribbled lesson plans, therapy room waits, whispered prayers, and holy messes of family life.

Each week, I share reflections to steady your heart and stir your faith.

I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s walk this sacred, everyday road together.

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Photo by Julio Lopez on Unsplash

Quieting the Voices That Don’t Belong

It’s 9:45 am and I’ve just taken my oldest to his OT appointment while my other two kids shamelessly play on their tablets in the waiting room just down the hall. I’m busily discussing brain science and motor function with the OT while my son works on his first of several therapies for the day.

A few years ago this scene would have made me squirm. An hour of screen time? I would have felt guilty, as if I was somehow failing them.

Until more recently, I followed a lot of “slow living” and “crunchy” influencers online. For many influencers in that vein, their version of motherhood rejects screens entirely. Their beautifully curated posts made me feel like I should be doing the same - baking sourdough in a linen dress while my kids whittled sticks into toys.

But this post isn’t about screens. (If you want my take on that, click here.)

This is about influence.

Who Gets a Say in Your Life?

Whether I realized it at the time or not, I had let strangers on the internet shape how I viewed myself as a mother, as a women and as a Catholic. I had allowed their values to subtly become the standard by which I was measuring myself against. Not Christ.

I felt guilt in living our life the way we had to. Letting my younger two kids look at a tablet, playing games, while I paid extra attention to that new therapy move my oldest needed to repeat at home.

As I spent more time online writing, the more time I spent consuming until one day I started asking some uncomfortable questions:

• Why was I allowing all these people, strangers really, to influence anything in my life?

• Why did I feel like I needed to dress a certain way or buy that product?

• Who really benefits from the promotion of these ideas?

Friends, we scroll past posts without thinking, but the effects are real.

Social proof¹ is powerful. Now imagine it unleashed on the world wide web. It shapes our behaviors, our priorities, our spending, and all while drawing our eyes away from what actually matters.

Even in the Catholic Space

This isn’t just a secular issue.

When I consider some Catholic influencers, well-meaning or not, I feel even more uneasy. These influencers can at times espouse ideas that aren’t even Catholic, wrapped up in an aesthetic reel and subtle product placements. Suddenly, we’re buying a “must have” miraculous medal necklace to replace our worn one, because it’s paired with a 10% off code. But is it about leading us closer to Jesus?

This isn’t about Catholic artisans or small businesses genuinely serving families. This is about the slow drift. This is about when the camera pans away from Christ and onto the influencer.

Freedom in Stepping Back

So, I’ve been stepping back, praying more, and being intentional about what I consume and what I let influence my life. It’s not always easy, but it’s been freeing.

I’ve found that free-time does exist, and I’m more present with those around me. The shoulds no longer hold me captive. My growing booklist has finally found some balance (though I suspect I’ll always be adding more books to it than I can read) and my prayer life and creativity have improved as well.

How about you?

• Have you ever caught yourself feeling pressured or discouraged by what you see online?

• Do you ever wonder whose voice you’re letting into your heart?

• What helps you stay centered in a noisy digital world?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let me know in the comments below! And if this post resonates, would you pass it along to a friend who might need this reminder too?

3 Practical Ways to De-Influence your Life:

1. Audit your feed & unfollow freely: as someone who has a writing account on Instagram it’s not in my interest to tell you to cut back. I should want you to stay there (or here) longer and hopefully consume my content (and maybe one day consider buying my to-be-written book). But honestly, we should all take a step back. Remove the excess, and consider only 5-10 accounts to actually take in content from - seems radical doesn’t it? Trusted sources, that espouse actual Catholic & Christian teachings, and aren’t there just to make a buck. Ask yourself: Is this account truly inspiring me, or is it subtly influencing me in ways I don’t want?

2. Pause before you purchase or act: Before buying something from your favorite influencer or making a lifestyle change because of a stranger’s advice, wait 24 hours first. Ask yourself: Do I actually need this, or am I just caught up in the moment? Will buying this thing or making this change actually improve my or my family’s life? If it’s not something you need, or would even want, without social media let it go.

3. Replace Consumption with Creation or Prayer: I always have to try and get a plug in for prayer! Instead of scrolling, set a small habit of doing something more intentional, I especially like to attach small, new habits, to existing ones to help establish them. Consider journaling, reading Scripture, or even just sitting in silence. It will feel odd and hard at first, but flexing this under-used muscle is worth it. The less time you spend absorbing external opinions and noise, the more clarity you will have about what really matters in your life.

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Five Years In: Managing the House, Teaching the Kids

It’s hard to believe but as we round the corner to the finish line of this school year we will be wrapping up a 5 years of homeschooling.

When I first started out, I couldn’t imagine homeschooling for even 1 year, let alone 5.

We started homeschooling in August 2020, 2 months after we had moved to Virginia. I had just left a job as a Child Advocate for abused children, and was used to having my older two in the local Catholic school while my youngest was in daycare.

Yup, that’s right. We’re pandemic schoolers. (I have no idea if that’s a thing)

Joe and I quickly realized schools weren’t opening up for the 2020-2021 school year and we knew exactly zero people. In an effort to build some kind of community, and normalcy, since churches weren’t even open, I signed us up for a homeschool co-op.

It was a godsend.

While I am still very much in the trenches of homeschooling and there are days I still ask why we decided to stick with this path, I have picked up some tips and tricks that have helped me navigate this special time, while still accomplishing our goals, and of course meeting the medical needs of my oldest son.

So for this article, I’m going to focus on home management while homeschooling, as I see a lot of moms asking for help and ideas about this in particular. But, let me know in the comments what other homeschooling things you’d like to hear more about!

Home Management:

Here are 3 ideas that have worked for me. Take what makes sense to you and leave the rest!

1. Have your kids help around the house: Yes, chores. We’ve done a combination of setups over the years but I’ve found that my kids are most motivated to do their chores after lessons are done and screen time is about to begin. They have age and ability appropriate chores that have grown with them. So I tie the completion of their chores to that free time. Screen time is a set time each day, for a set amount of time so that I don’t get nagged about it. My children are old enough that I shouldn’t have to endlessly remind them what to do, though younger kids or kids with different abilities may need extra help. For my kids, if I have to remind them more than 2x or they simply don’t do the chore, they lose 5 minutes. It’s amazing when you see your 11 yr old emptying the dishwasher, your 13 yr old vacuuming the living room and your 7 yr old picking up toys with no additional input from you because they know the alternative. It took us 5 months to set this up and for it to really stick. You have to follow through on your threat of taking 5 minutes away and yes your kid may act like it’s killing them. They will survive and so will your sanity. It only takes 2-3 times and they get with the program. The younger they are, the more help they will need and that’s ok. Help them out early on and build their independence!

2. Meal plan like your life depends on it: I used to not be a big meal planner. Once I started staying home and teaching lessons, the end of the day would sneak up on me and I’d realize the chicken was still frozen. SO, make a meal plan, even if it’s only dinners (which is what I do) so that the mental load isn’t overwhelming and you’re hangry because dinner will now be at 8 instead of 6. To make meal planning even easier I took a page from

   Leila Marie Lawler
   ’s books Summa Domestica and made a menu of all our favorite meals, plus childhood favorites, plus any restaurant meals I felt I could easily replicate at home. Each week, I pull 7 meals from that menu and have all my dinners planned, plus an already set up grocery list. This is what I base my sample weekly menu on later in this newsletter, so check it out! Or you can go to this post to read about it in more detail.

3. Schedule in downtime: I think even as homeschool moms, and maybe especially because we are homeschool moms, we have taken in this dehumanizing ideology that we are machines and must show results. We say things such as “I don’t have the bandwidth” instead of “mental capacity” or “I need to process this” instead of “digest”. Our language betrays this subtle but devastating shift. So it’s important to realize we are human. We don’t process like a computer, we digest, we ponder, we contemplate and that takes time. We don’t lack “bandwidth” we’ve simply reached the limit of our ability, because we are human. Not machines. So take an hour (yes, 60 full minutes) and have that down time. Ok, break it up into 30 minutes at a time if you must, but take it. Use it to digest your day, to reflect on what you did, to accept the limitations you have and ask God to enter that space with you. It’s refreshing, eye-opening, and allows you to be a better mom, homeschooler, and child of God.

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P.S. A Little Update About Next Month…

As I wrap up this month’s reflections on 5 years of homeschooling and the quiet work of de-influencing, I wanted to share a little update.

Starting next month, the monthly deep-dive reflections, the ones that invite you to pause, breathe, and reflect, will still land in your inbox. But only part of it will be available to free subscribers. The full reflections, along with with some thoughtful new extras, will be part of a new space I’m calling The Wildflower Grove.

What’s inside the Wildflower Grove?

• Full-length monthly reflections like this one.

• Occasional Monthly printable or mini-guide (think: liturgical living, homeschool helps, or special needs support) + access to previous months digital products. Click here to go to the Subscriber Library. This month there will be a Daily Examen Mini-guide: Easter Edition!

• Occasional Q&A or AMA posts, where I answer your honest, heartfelt questions.

I’ve built this space gently and intentionally, just like this newsletter. It’s for the readers who’ve written me to say “I needed to hear that” and for anyone who wants a little more support and inspiration in their inbox.

The weekly emails will always stay free. Full of encouragement, ideas and faith-based reflections. But if this monthly post has been life-giving to you, I’d love to invite you deeper.

Join the Wildflower Grove for $5/month or $50/year here:

With gratitude and grace,

Mandy

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Want to read more about Detaching from Social Media and your phone in this age of noise? I share some tricks I use and why it’s so important.

Ever feel like liturgical living is overwhelming and isn’t worth trying? Well hint, it looks almost nothing like what you see online with all the busyness - it’s actually much richer…

I wrote a bit about about how Liturgical Living is the real Slow Living we’re all craving. Be sure to check it out.

Sample Meal Plan

Friends we are in Passiontide, and when this hits your inbox we will be entering the holiest of weeks with the celebration of Palm Sunday. During this time, I try to keep things simple. We follow the Church’s lead and veil our religious statues, art and crucifixes with purple cloth. Paring down the visual input and keeping things quieter. We also spend some time preparing our house for Easter. This generally means a deep clean of bathrooms, and the kitchen, and other common spaces. We are in town this year so plan to go to our Parish’s services during the Triduum. I am cooking heavy the first 4 days of the week to ensure leftovers for the next few days.

Sunday (Palm Sunday): On the menu today is Mujadara w/ caramelized onions and yogurt - a favorite here. I recently saw another Catholic mention that they serve middle eastern food on Palm Sunday and seeing as my husband has Lebanese roots, I figured this was a good idea too!

Monday: Roasted Chicken (x2) roasted potatoes, carrots and a side salad.

Tuesday: Chicken salad sandwiches (using left over chicken from yesterday), salad and chips.

Wednesday (Spy Wednesday): Homemade Pizza w/ favorite toppings. I like this pizza dough recipe as you can freeze it, and pull it out later to use. Chop whatever veggies, meat, etc. that you like on your pizza, place in separate bowls, have pizza sauce and shredded mozzarella at the ready and go to town making individual pizzas for your family! After dinner I hide 30 quarters around the house to represent 30 silver coins. The kids find them all and we read the scripture related (Matthew 26:14-16)

Thursday (Maundy Thursday): This is the day that the Last Supper takes place and is when we commemorate the institution of the Eucharist and the Priesthood. I’ll be treating this day a bit like our own last supper and bring out all the leftovers from the week for us to enjoy before fasting tomorrow. In the past we have washed each other’s feet on this day, just as Jesus did at the Last Supper.

Friday (Good Friday - No Meat + Fasting): Leftovers for the kids. Today Joe and I abstain from meat, and we fast (1 Full meal + 2 small meals that do not equal another meal). You can click here for the specifics set out by our Bishops. I prefer to save my full meal for the end of the day so I don’t go to bed hungry. I’ll be making baked salmon, with roasted veggies and rice for our main meal, no spices or salt to keep it very plain.

Saturday (Holy Saturday): The day before Easter. Since we are home we’ll be switching from our home decor from Lent to Easter. I’ll be keeping the meal simple with Spaghetti and a salad. Consider reading part of this from an ancient homily “Today there is a great silence over the earth, a great silence, and stillness, a great silence because the King sleeps” and try spending the first 5 minutes of your dinner in silence. Tomorrow we will be eating at a friends house for Easter so no meal prep but if I was cooking, I would do a lot of that today.

Prayer Habit

“Prayer is oxygen for the soul” - St. Padre Pio

April: The Month of the Holy Eucharist

Did you know that April is dedicated to the Holy Eucharist—the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ? It’s especially beautiful when Easter falls in April, because we get to celebrate the Resurrection right alongside the greatest gift He left us: Himself, truly present in the Eucharist.

Just as Jesus gave Himself completely on the Cross, He gives Himself entirely to us at every single Mass.

It’s such a beautiful mystery of our faith.

St. Pope John Paul II once wrote², “The Church draws her life from the Eucharist.” In that same letter, he reflected on how the Eucharist is where the Church rejoices in Christ’s presence “with unique intensity.”

This month, I invite you to pause and ponder:

How has receiving the Eucharist shaped your life?

When have you felt Christ’s presence most clearly through this gift?

How is He strengthening you, even now, through this sacrament?

Let’s carry these questions into the Easter season, hearts full of gratitude for the One who stays with us.

“Lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age” (Mt 28:20)

1. Social Proof Definition

2. ECCLESIA DE EUCHARISTIA