Seeking Holiness; Get out of the Boat
March 2025
Welcome friends! I’m Mandy - a wife, writer, and mother to 3 kids. I spend my days navigating homeschool, writing, and the medical needs of my special needs son. Together in this space we will explore the incredible truth, beauty, and goodness of our Catholic faith lived in everyday life. I invite you to join me, as we dive into the mundane moments and find God.
Subscribe for free to receive my Monthly Newsletter with a guest writer, or my weekly posts once they resume their regular schedule. I’m so glad you are here and look forward to journeying with you!
About our Guest Writer: Cecilia and I met through Instagram about 3 years ago now, and immediately I knew I had met someone very special. Her joy for God and life permeated all she shared online, and our conversations only further backed up that sentiment. I asked Cecilia if she would be willing to share some of that joy with you all today. You can find her work over on Instagram at MissionaryofBeauty or at her blog Cecilia Blackwell Writes.
Seeking Holiness
by Cecilia Blackwell
I was blessed to be born into a devout Catholic family, a gift I don’t take for granted. Both my parents are musicians; and perhaps because they’d chosen more unconventional paths for themselves, they encouraged me to explore any & all interests I had. On top of that, my mom homeschooled me from the beginning. All these points converged to a degree in which I felt freedom to be completely myself as a child – another gift I don’t take for granted.
As my parents encouraged me to explore what I was interested in, I wound up with so many different interests and hobbies as a girl – many of which I sought to hide as I came of age in the early 2010s. I didn’t want to be seen as uncool or nerdy. Never mind the fact that I was thoroughly a band kid through and through! The music bug bit me in high school, and by my sophomore year I’d made up my mind that I wanted to pursue music as a career.
When it comes to the field of classical music, there’s long been the thought that there are specific paths one must take. Going outside the mold wasn’t encouraged by most professors. And when I decided to throw myself into pursuing flute performance as my one and only college degree, I bought into the traditional career path set out for an orchestral performer, shutting out any other possible options for my life. I threw myself into my career goals, practicing for hours upon hours, rehearsing in every ensemble I could get my hands on, and auditioning for as many masterclasses and summer festivals as I reasonably could.
Spoilers: it didn’t lead to a happy ending with me winning a position in a celebrated orchestra. It led to serious injuries, severe burnout, and a genuine life crisis – all within a year and a half of setting out on this path. What was I to do if I didn’t follow the traditional orchestral path? I truly had no idea.
But even though I wound up in a true life crisis, the consequences of my injuries did help reinforce a lesson my parents – and in particular, my mom – tried to pass on to me while I was growing up. God has a particular plan for each of us, a unique mission that only we can fulfill. Holiness isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. We’ve each been given a unique set of talents, gifts, strengths, and circumstances that, particularly when entrusted to the Holy Spirit, will enable us to fulfill the mission that we’ve been created for. And we each have the responsibility to discern with the Lord how He desires us to use these gifts in our circumstances for His glory.
Unfortunately, the temptation to box our way of thinking into a mold or idea of what we think holiness – or particular callings, or careers, or being a woman, or being a man – should look like is very real. I believe it’s one of Satan’s most-used tactics to draw people away from God, regardless of whether they’re religious or not. I surely fell for it – hook, line, and sinker – when I was dead set on becoming an orchestral flutist. After all, that was the common path for a person studying flute performance. I didn’t stop to consider other ways in which God might want me to use my degree, and it caused me great pain in the end.
But God used this pain to help purify some areas of my heart that were in desperate need of purification. In my brokenness, I grew closer to God and found that there was far more to music and my studies than I realized. I learned I loved teaching one-on-one, a love that would develop into four years of running a successful, full studio of private students. I began using my gifts in church more often, adding my flute to the music at Sunday Mass on many occasions at my home parish. I began to compose music, something I thought I couldn’t do but found God had actually given me a gift there. And I began to explore all the gifts and talents outside music that He’d given me – many of which I’d discarded in high school when I was trying so hard to fit in. A new life began to take shape – one that I hadn’t expected to live at all, but one in which all my gifts and talents were employed for the glory of God.
Lent is fast approaching. Ever since learning that the word Lent comes from the Anglo-Saxon word for spring, I’ve seen Lent largely through the lens of spring cleaning for the heart, all in order to make room for deeper intimacy with Christ and take a fresh, new step towards becoming the person He made me to be. I can’t set any of my gifts aside if I’m to image God the way He created me to image Him. Instead, I realize I have a responsibility to discern with Him the ways in which He might want me to use my gifts in my particular season of life. And perhaps, this Lent, He’d like to look with you at your gifts. Perhaps He’d like to dream with you, prune away old perspectives on your gifts, and maybe even reveal gifts you aren’t aware of. And perhaps, this Lent, He’d like to gently show you how and where He desires you to use them here and now.
Get out of the Boat
by Mandy Mazzawi
So I did a thing this past Saturday, something I just knew I would never do, could never do, and certainly wouldn’t enjoy.
You see I am an introvert to the core. Over the years I’ve found, in my own way, means of being more extroverted, but it’s in fits and spurts. I simply do not really enjoy the idea of being the center of attention. Which is why writing is so perfectly suited to introverts! You can say everything on your mind without facial expressions, voice changes, body language and the awful feeling of having to perform.
Yet, as the years have passed there has been this quiet dread building in the background. This knowledge that eventually I would have to speak words to people, in real time, and carry the room with those words bringing people along on a journey.
Then it happened, in December I was invited to speak at a workshop at a conference in February. I prayed hard about it. Mortified was the first feeling that rose up. How could I possibly speak to people about anything I’ve written here? Nope. Not going to happen. They can read it that will be good enough. I simply don’t have the right skills, and I’m just not a public speaker. Someone else is way better at this and could do more than I could even hope to achieve.
Friends, to be clear I am no one special - I get horrible stage fright. I shake, my voice disappears, and I struggle to put coherent thoughts together. Past experiences told me this wasn’t something I should do.
So naturally, God decided to use that.
His response to my prayer was an enthusiastic “time to get out of the boat!” Where trusting the Lord has always been a struggle of mine, something the Lord has been fastidiously working on in my heart, I decided to step out in faith.
As I pondered that response for weeks, I set about writing and finalizing my speech, praying for the nearly 700 women attending, and practicing the words I would say. Could I do this? Maybe.
Then 4 days before the conference I was made aware that I wasn’t speaking once but twice! I nearly fell out of my chair reading the email. My earnest prayer “God you are going to have to send the Holy Spirit to speak for me. I can’t do this. Help the women who hear me talk, let them hear what you need them to. Be with us all this Saturday.”
“And Peter answered Him, ‘Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.’ He said “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out ‘Lord, save me.”
Mt. 14:28-30
On the day of I was a bundle of nerves, yet somehow the night before I had slept perfectly well. A grace to be sure. In the blink of an eye the key note was wrapping up her talk and I was off to the first of two workshops.
What happened after is why I’m writing this whole post. The women walking up to me after my talks, saying “I’m a widow, I have no kids at home. I didn’t think your talk would apply to me and yet I now feel like I know how to fill my days, to find God. Thank you!” or “I was trying to build up a physical altar for the Lord in my home, but I realized that I should be building up the people in my home for the Lord. I needed to hear this today, you were supposed to be here!” or “I didn’t realize this was your first time ever giving a talk! Thank you!”
I stepped out of that boat of comfort, of ease, of anonymity, not knowing what would happen next.
“Jesus immediately reached out His hand and caught him, saying to him
‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’
Mt. 14:31
I think sometimes we choose not to do the risky thing God has called us to because we aren’t sure what will happen next. I know in the past I’ve stepped out and it felt like I wasn’t caught, but later I realized I wasn’t waiting on the Lord to call me to something but I was trying to go it alone.
Friends, I hope you know, deep down that if the Lord is calling you to something, whatever it is, He will catch you, He will guide you, He will be present in the storm of nerves, doubts, and fear. He will steady you.
We have a duty to wait on the Lord, to prayerfully consider where He might be calling us and to listen closely so that we are ready to act upon that call.
I am one of little faith and I doubted, yet God showed up in spectacular style. If He did this for me, He absolutely will do this for you too.
Get out of the boat. It’s time.
AMDG
Sample Meal Plan
The time has arrived, it’s (almost) Lent! So I’ll be sharing some of our liturgically based meals and some activities that are family friendly and mom friendly. During Lent I keep things simple by stripping our table of its extras (no candles, no table cloth, etc.) See dressing things up during Ordinary time has a purpose now! Meals are kept simpler too, no red meat, less toppings, etc. If anyone complains, we practice gratitude for what we *do* have.
Sunday (Quinquagesima Sunday or 50 Days before Easter): Roast chicken, with roasted potatoes, and carrots. Super simple!
Monday: Left overs. Time to use up all the meat!
Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras): Traditions abound for this day before Ash Wednesday. Our family has tried a couple of traditions, such as King Cake, and pancakes. Pancakes by far were a hit with the kids because toppings always win, and are more fun to personalize each pancake. Plus it’s easier for mom to control some of the goodies placed on top by using fresh fruit and homemade whipped cream. Our family also buries the Alleluia before or after dinner. I boil eggs, and have cheese ready for tomorrow while fasting.
Wednesday (Ash Wednesday): Today we abstain from meat, and we fast (1 Full meal + 2 small meals that do not equal another meal). You can click here for the specifics set out by our Bishops. I prefer to save my full meal for the end of the day so I don’t go to bed hungry. On the menu today is Mujadara w/ caramelized onions and yogurt.
Thursday: Normally I like to use today to use up any meat meals from the week before Friday. Obviously this week is different. So Homemade pizza with toppings of choice from the kids is my go to. Simple, and will keep until Saturday.
Friday (No Meat): It’s common to think that no meat Fridays are only in Lent but Catholics are called to abstain from either meat or some other meaningful penance all year round. To keep things simple our family has chosen to abstain from meat year round. You can read more about that practice here. Today it will be baked salmon with roasted veggies and rice.
Saturday: Leftovers again!
Prayer Habit
“Prayer is oxygen for the soul” - St. Padre Pio
Lent is in a few short days, and I always find myself a bit hesitant to step into the season. Either because the Alleluia is absent from our liturgies, a distinct note of solemness, or the more penitential tones that permeate our days, I just struggle with Lent.
For me it’s absolutely because this is a time to reflect on myself and what I am failing to do well for the Lord in my life. Where I am failing to seek after Him with all my heart, mind, body, and soul. Not sure about you but I don’t like to be told is such blatant terms how I’m failing to live up to my baptism!
I know in recent years it’s been popular to “add in” for Lent. Add in prayers, add in complimenting someone, walking everyday, eating healthier, etc.
That all seems nice but it’s a little too much self-help, self focused on being a better person, and less accurate to the spirit of the season which by nature is penitential.
I always say that if your life feels like a Lent then offer that up, God knows your heart and you situation. Otherwise, look to the three pillars of Lent, or as I like to call them spiritual weapons, as a guidepost for how to embark on this season.
Prayer: Prayer is about changing our hearts, minds, and souls into the likeness of God. It is a conversation with our Lord and Savior, and no one can walk away from Him unchanged. So it stands to reason the more we talk with Him, the more opportunities He has to change us into His likeness. In light of that understanding of prayer, adding in prayer to our days isn’t self-help but a profound recognition that we need the loving hand of our Lord to transform us, shape us, and guide us away from sin and into life lived fully for God.
Fasting: The opportunity to consider what in your life you are so attached to that you can’t spend a day without it. Is it TV, Video Games, Social Media, Politics? All of these can serve as distractions and drown out the quiet voice of God. Fasting from what we are overly attached to can bear great fruit, creating space for God to move in our lives. It is another great weapon against sin and strips us of our earthly attachments.
Almsgiving: This is more than just giving money to a good cause. Almsgiving is an opportunity to choose gratitude for how we’ve been blessed. Whether we’ve been blessed with talent, treasure, or time, we can offer these up and thank the Lord for them while pouring them out to those around us. Some ways to live this out is through volunteering at a parish ministry, making a point to meet other parishioners we don’t know, giving more in the collection basket, or inviting someone you barely know out to coffee after Mass.