Happy Easter Friends! This email reaches you on the 6th Sunday of Easter. Yes, us Catholics are still celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ and will do so for another 2 weeks until Pentecost!
I’ve been away from here for a bit prioritizing family over everything else as Joe recovers from his ACL surgery, but now that he is on the mend I wanted to share with you some exciting changes I have in the works for this space going forward!
Starting in June, I will be sending out short weekly reflections on Sundays to start our week, with the first Sunday of the month continuing to be the long-form newsletter you all have been enjoying for the past year. I will also be inviting one guest writer to the long-form newsletter each month so keep an eye out for that!
I am so excited for these changes and for continued growth with you all here! Thank you for making this newsletter possible and please consider supporting my work with my tip jar or if that is not an option share my work with someone. Thank you!
How Carrying Our Crosses Shows Others It Can Be Done
Have you ever stared down a particular cross and just wondered “why me?” Why do I have to deal with this? There are more than a few crosses I carry in my life, like anyone else, that I would rather not have to bear. From the grief, to the suffering, loneliness, to the drudgery, bearing a cross can be incredibly intimidating.
The idea of picking it up, carrying it, and actually managing a step forward can feel so completely impossible. I start to turn inward, and focus on my own abilities, my own skills, my own knowledge - how I can manage on my own. I can be tempted to see a cross given to me as affecting only me. That the grace received through bearing it touches only me, and only works in my life, only bears fruit in my life and that’s where it ends.
Yet just as there is no private sin that only affects one individual, but instead can reap consequences in families and communities large and small, so too there is no private grace that only works through one individual. This grace that we are given by picking up our crosses, carrying them with trust and Truth in our hearts, flows out of us to those around us.
By the very nature of picking up our cross, offering it up to the Lord and choosing to trust Him, we are modeling the very nature of Grace. We are modeling how to lean into God’s Grace, His Love, His Truth and His Mercy - when we fall again and again. By Picking up our crosses, not with disdain but gratitude, thanking the Lord for the opportunity to participate in the life of God by the graces He gives, we are showing those around us that Joy does not come from circumstance, that Hope does not come from our temporal lives, that Faith is more than feelings but a choice.
It’s not easy.
It’s not supposed to be.
“Then Jesus told His disciples ‘ If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’” Matthew 16:24
I very rarely find myself jumping with joy and saying “Yes! Another cross to help me grow in Grace, Humility and Love!” Still, after grieving that a new cross has come to me, and wrestling with having to pick it up I find myself in the same spot.
Having to carry my cross regardless.
Regardless of if I thank the Lord or not.
Regardless of if I choose Humility over Pride.
Regardless of if I invite the Lord into the journey of picking it up, carrying it and accepting His Grace to do so.
Regardless. The cross is there to be carried.
So why choose to carry it alone? I have found in my brief time on this earth that it is better for me, those around me, and my soul if I choose to turn to the Lord and ask Him to provide me the grace to carry it well. Trying to carry a cross without His grace is the loneliest, heaviest experience filled with resentment, anger, pain, and pride.
Friends, we are not only blessed by a Lord who gives us the grace to carry these crosses in life, we have a Lord who humbled Himself so completely that He actually carried a physical cross to die upon. And even He couldn’t carry it alone. We have a Lord who knows the depths of the suffering, agony, struggle, and pain it brings. Who knows the strength, perseverance, Love and Grace needed to continue carrying it.
He will not only provide what we need but provide with abundance. And we, living in His life and Love, can carry this cross with such grace that this grace does not stay only within us but affects all those around us. Boldly proclaiming the reason for our Hope through the actions of our lives lived for Him and in Him.
Friends, we carry our crosses not just because we have been called to do so. We carry our crosses to show others that it can be done.
That it can be done with Joy.
3 Ways I Pick up my Cross Daily with Grace:
Morning Prayer - Normally I’m not one to specify a time for prayer. Anytime you have that you can offer up to the Lord through prayer is time well spent. However, if you are finding yourself struggling to face your day, struggling to pick up your cross (illness, relationships, work, school, etc.) the best place to start is first thing in the morning. Before I even open my eyes I begin a prayer of Thanks. Once I am done thanking the Lord for the day and what is to come, I next make a point to offer everything up for His glory, and His will. In short, I am handing everything over to Him. I usually end my prayer in supplication asking for the grace to live today for Christ, asking for patience, perseverance, strength, wisdom, humility and a heart seeking after Him. Without beginning my day in prayer I would fail within minutes and have seen that happen, so I try not to miss this important step.
Fellowship - This one can be trickier. When we had a miscarriage before our third child was born, I found a support group of women meeting at the local church. I didn’t speak much but hearing their experiences, what they walked through, and how they coped was so important to my healing and lent me strength to carry that cross over time. It may not always be so obvious who is carrying a similar cross to you. Sometimes confiding in a trusted friend can lead to a connection or they know of someone else struggling in a similar way. I know being vulnerable can be scary but it is so worth doing to begin to meet others walking a similar path.
Trusting God - I’ve written a fair amount about trusting God. I’m not talking about the passive “Oh God will take care of it” kind of trust, that isn’t really so much trusting as putting our heads in the sand and hoping it all works out. I am talking about the kind of trust where you’re staring down the cliff knowing you have to jump, knowing that you have to do the thing, feel the pain, suffer the loss, walk through the fire and you turn to God with eyes unwavering and do it anyway. Knowing the whole time that yes this will be the hardest thing but God is bigger, He is stronger and He is with you. With this kind of trust do we pick up our cross, and keep going, trusting that God will in fact step in and carry this cross with us with love and grace.
Friendship Requires Pursuit
We often think of pursuit within the context of romance. The man pursues the woman or the other way around. Yet, pursuit outside of the romantic realm is still equally important. From business, to health, hobbies and more people find themselves in pursuit of knowledge, skill, and stamina. Perhaps the most important area that pursuit should exist is within friendship.
As many of you may know we’ve lived in several cities around the country and been blessed to know many people from many different walks of life. In each place we have found people who desire to know us as a family, or individuals, and those who don’t.
It is usually really apparent.
Those that want to know us, pursue us, spend time with us or at continue to try until schedules finally work out.
In fact there was a group of women who, early on in my motherhood, showed me the value of pursuit in friendship. I was struggling deeply with undiagnosed post partum depression, while also navigating life with a child with disabilities. I often felt isolated, lonely, and unmoored. These women made it a point to draw me out and invite me to all sorts of events, even though I could not make it to most. They checked in with a text message or even stopped by my house. They made it clear that they cared for me, by sacrificing their time and energy to pursue a relationship.
We moved on to a new city and I took with me an undeniable truth - Friendship requires pursuit.
Not unlike how Christ pursues us. Seeking out our hearts, whispering Truths to us, inviting us to communion with Him, calling us Friend. He seeks a deep, abiding relationship with us that can only be achieved through the pursuit of our souls in Love and Truth.
“No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask of the Father in my name, He may give it to you. This I command you, to love one another.” Jn 15:15-17"
So it stands to reason that similarly, to truly get to know someone, to walk through life with them, to support them and fellowship with them, to call them friend - we have to first pursue them. We have to be willing to sacrifice our time, and energy to be present with them. Words only go so far in the pursuit. Action is necessary.
The reality is that the idea of pursuit within friendships has been mostly lost today in a world increasingly focused on passive participation in life. From being encouraged to watch more and more videos/tv/reels on our phones, using our precious time not exploring, creating, living, fellowshipping but passively consuming. To the increasing self-focused attitude of expecting others to pursue us first before we respond in kind, stuck in the inertia of waiting, ever lonely. We find ourselves more and more isolated from one another, no longer pursuing friendship, pursuing relationship but only pursuing ourselves, our wants and our desires.
Friends, the truth is as we are called to live like Christ. We are called to establish friendships as He did, to pursue our fellow Christians, to fellowship, sacrifice, call out and befriend. We are called to pursue.
We are called to live for each other and not just ourselves.
3 Simple Ways to Add Pursuit to Your Friendships
Reach out - A simple text letting your friend know you’re thinking of them. Your text doesn’t even have to be words, it could be a meme, a joke, a photo, a song. Something to say “hey you’ve been on my mind.” goes a long way.
Initiate - Be the first to suggest going out, or stopping by. Set up a time and day. Being clear and initiating lets the other person know you’re serious about spending time together.
Show up - This is probably the most important point. I realize we can’t be perfect in this department. Things come up, we’re sick, we have other obligations - life happens. Still, there are ways to show up, big and little, that can mean the world to someone else. From dropping off a meal, to offering to take their kids for a day, bringing by a coffee on your way to an appointment, or other time commitment. Showing up for someone else tells them that they matter to you, with your time and energy, and that speaks louder than any gift or words ever could.
Hard to believe we are still in the Easter season! As the rest of the world has moved on, but we are still feasting! One way I like to reflect this spiritual Truth in reality is to make more elaborate (sounding) meals. This year I haven’t been able to make as many fancy meals with everything happening in our home but here is an example of what I’ve done in the past!
Other non-food ways to make meal time more special during Easter: Light some candles on the table during your meal, use a table cloth, use cloth napkins, put a vase of flowers out for meals. Consider praying one of these Easter Prayers before your meals during the Easter season.
Sunday(6th Sunday of Easter): This Chicken Carbanara recipe sounds deceptively complex but it only takes me about 20 minutes to put it all together and it is a delish, fancy sounding meal to celebrate Sunday with.
Monday: Leftovers!
Tuesday: Top round with green beans and rice. We don’t normally get this nicer cuts but I will try to add in one a week during Easter to make it more special.
Wednesday: Spaghetti with all the trimmings. Pesto, parmesan cheese, garlic knots, side salad w/ croutons. Any little extra I’ll make a point of including.
Thursday: Leftovers - one of my favorite ways to use up meat meals before Friday!
Friday : Quiche and cut up fruit on the side. Another fancy sounding meal that is filling but pretty simple.
Saturday: Leftovers again!
Little Mustard Seeds
Each newsletter I like to share a few favorite things that have blessed me as a mom, homemaker, and woman. The links in this newsletter are unaffiliated unless I say it’s an affiliate link.
My new favorite garden book of the moment is A Garden Catechism by Margaret Rose Realy, obl OSB. We’re roughly 16 months into our new house that we, God willing, hope to be in for many many years. So I’ve been diligently planning out our Mary garden, and other spaces around the yard to help remind us of the beauty of God’s creation and the significance of salvation history. This book has been excellent for helping me do just that!
Embroidery - I am a big advocate of doing something creative, especially something creative with your hands. I think it builds appreciation for artwork and craftwork. I also think that is helps us understand the value of not just consuming things but creating things to share with others. To that end I enjoy, when time allows, picking up a needle and thread and creating beautiful art. It may not be perfect, but I feel more satisfied with my day if I take some time to do this and a bonus, I get to see measurable progress! One company I really like is Abide Embroidery Co. If you love the idea of creating with your hands, this company makes it so easy to pick up new skills and get to the business of crafting.
Prayer Habit
“Prayer is oxygen for the soul” - St. Padre Pio
If you’re up for the challenge I’d like to encourage you to pray a specific kind of prayer for the month. I hope the fruits borne of this habit bless you!
This month is May, and in the Church we devote this month to the Blessed Virgin Mary, focusing specifically on the virtues of Purity and the spirit of poverty.
So I wanted to take the time to share the Hail Mary but more specifically the biblical passages that this often misunderstood prayer comes from.
Let’s break it down:
Hail Mary, full of grace the Lord is with thee
Luke 1:28 “and he came to her and said, “Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you!”
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus
Luke 1:41-42 “And when Elizabeth hear the greeting of Mary, the child leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and she exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb!”
Luke 1:48 “for he has regarded the low estate of his handmaiden. For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.”
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen!
Luke 1:43 “And why is this granted me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?”
Luke 2:35 “and a sword will pierce through your own soul also, that the thoughts of many may be revealed.”
Why intercessory prayer? Intercessory prayer is a prayer of petition, in which Christians intercede for the needs of others. When you ask a friend to pray for you, you are asking them to intercede on your behalf. Some verses that support intercessory prayer to the saints.
Luke 20:38 “Now he is not God of the dead, but of the living; for all live to him.”
Revelations 5:8 “And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and with golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.”
Revelations 8:3 “And another angel came and stood at the altar with a golden censer; and he was given much incense to mingle with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar before the throne;”
The Hail Mary:
Hail Mary, full of Grace the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen!
Very blessed by this. Thank you, Mandy.